For The Master's Table Web Site

BREAKING IT GENTLY
Used by permission
Copyright 2005/ Leslie A Turvey

Well, if that’s the way you want to be. Kapow! Is this how to solve problems, or does your bible teach a better way?
A wealthy farmer returned home from travelling abroad. His hired hand met him at the airport.

“Well, Ben,” enquired the farmer, “did anything exciting happen while I was gone?”
“Nothing much,” came the reply. “Except your dog died.”

“Killer? How’d he die?”

“From eating too much burnt horse meat, I reckon.”

“Where’d he get burnt horse meat?” queried the farmer.

“From the barn fire, sir. The stable burned down, and your prize thoroughbreds got cooked.”

“The barn burned down? How did it catch fire?”

“We figure a spark from the house fire landed on the hay.”

“There was a fire in the house?”

“Yes sir. Burned right to the ground.”

“How did the house catch fire?”

“Seems one of the candles tipped over and lit the draperies.”

“Candles? What candles?”

“The ones by the coffin, sir.”

“Coffin? Who died?”

“Your wife, sir. But other than that nothing much happened.”

We really don’t like to be bearers of bad news, but sooner or later it has to come out. Normally we get to the point a bit quicker than Ben. Sometimes our bad news involves the way someone has treated us. If we’re not careful, our response can have serious consequences (Romans 12:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:15; 1 Peter 3:9). The old wild west movies wouldn’t have been very exciting without some fisticuffs at the local saloon. Old timers will recall the story: Big Bad John swaggers through the swingin’ doors, demanding to know whose been playin’ around with his gal. Tables are overturned; a fair supply of liquor gets spilled; and John’s the only one standing when the fight is done. Of course the hard-drinkin’ cowboys of the old west weren’t too interested in solving their differences in a Godly manner but, too often, neither are today’s church members.

It’s a familiar story: Nellie tells Sally about Tillie (in strictest confidence, of course), but Sally passes it on. Eventually it gets to Tillie in a grotesquely distorted form. Tillie gets her nose out of joint, and refuses to speak to Nellie. Or she may decide she’d be better off in the church down the street, so off she goes. Fisticuffs solve nothing. Neither does Tillie’s way of dealing with the problem.

Jesus gave us the way to solve person-to-person problems. He said, if someone offends us we’re to go and discuss the matter with him. Anyone who’s tried this has discovered it often solves the problem (Matthew 18:15). But, Jesus knew it doesn’t always clear up the matter, so he said if the miscreant refuses to hear us out we’re to take one or two witnesses to hear what is said. Note, these are witnesses; they’re not to get into the fray (vs 16). Lest you think we should go to the troublemaker in the morning, and take witnesses in the afternoon, please think again. Give him time to consider the matter. We may even want to go back a second or third time alone. Then, if he’s still defiant after a few days or weeks, that’s the time to take the witnesses.

Even then, the fellow should be given some time to reconsider. If another visit with the witnesses proves him to be unrepentant, then it’s time to take it to the church, perhaps through the minister (vs 17). Barging in like Big Bad John won’t solve the problem. It will only make matters worse. But resolving the problem step-by-step, as Jesus taught, can have long-lasting, and often friendship-building results.